Ufahari is the Swahili word for prestige, or pride. And what, you may ask, does that have to do with escorts?
Since the profession began, working girls haven’t received much love. That doesn’t sound quite right, so let me reword that. Working girls haven’t received much respect. Presenting yourself properly at a dinner in a high-class restaurant, or at a large social function, requires some social and people skills. Treating each man as an individual, and determining his wants and needs, is an art in and of itself. Having the class to be discrete is vitally important to the men an escort dates. Taking care of oneself and being prideful goes a long way to making an escort a successful and professional person.
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Have you ever had a crappy day? Not a really terrible day where something substantial happens, but a day where it seems like every tiny thing is carefully crafted to drag you down.
You hit every red light on your drive. All channels on the radio are either playing a song you hate or doing another lame capitalist advertisement. The Starbucks line is way too long. There are no parking spots. Your phone screen cracks. Your date doesn’t show up (and that’s a big one for an escort who makes her livelihood from dating!).
The list goes on and on. First world problems for sure, but it can feel like someone is deliberately out to get you. But what would happen if we let the tiniest bits of magic and glimpses of the little wonders that pile up in a day affect us like we let the crappy stuff do?
As most people know, traffic in the city of Los Angeles is quite a nightmare. It takes me anywhere from 15 minutes to 12 hours to get to wherever it is I’m supposed to be, depending on traffic.
This morning I’m heading over to meet a female client. She actually owns a sex doll for women (most people think male sex dolls are only used by gay guys, but I can assure you that isn’t true — read this article for the whole story). She’s tired of getting her kicks from a sex doll and wants to be with a real woman (and who can blame her!). So I was making the horrendous right turn onto Coldwater Canyon, when I magically made the very tail of the green light and get onto Coldwater to see somewhat of an empty street in front of me. I cruise down the road and my favorite country song comes on at just the right moment.
These are the little things.
As I currently flip through the pages in my outlandishly over-priced hipster book from Urban Outfitters titled, “Just The Little Things“, we really do encounter these wonderful little moments on a regular basis i.e. — finishing a really good book, when someone remembers something you like, the cool side of your pillow, old couples holding hands, silence that isn’t awkward. The list goes on and on.
There are so many great little things that slip under the cracks, fall behind the curtain because our world today is so focused on the big, the all-encompassing, the monumental. Always focusing on sex, and more sex, and getting off (whether that be with yours truly, or a sex doll).
It’s so easy to get worked up, terrified, enraged over the big things — war, hatred, violence, animosity, and it’s easy to feel like something outstanding needs to happen in order to be really happy — accomplish something incredible, create something new, fall in love.
These little things in life are like the fortune cookies you get with your Chinese food. They’re often left at the bottom of the bag, untouched, but if you take a second to open one, it’ll put a smile on your face and leave you with a good taste in your mouth, and you’ll realize they’re really the best part of the entire meal.
As humans we are tempted to yearn for control over our lives, but lots of times the control slips out of our hands. Picking up on these little things though — wearing your favorite sweatshirt, driving with the windows down, the sound of a kid’s uncontrollable laughter, crossing off the last thing on your to-do list etc., and accumulating them for yourself is like a little guarantee that even in the midst of chaos, bedlam and disarray (even when the shit hits the fan one might say), you have your “little things” to grasp onto and stay afloat.
It’s easier said than done, but we need to change our perspective, tilt our heads slightly to the side. We need to look at life through the underside of a glass bottom boat, through the tiny fissure of a telescope or top of a shiny new magnifying glass and gather these bits of magic for ourselves and dole them out to other people.
I’m not saying you have to go become Oprah or Dr. Phil, but hold the door open for someone on occasion, text someone good morning, compliment a stranger, get someone a random gift, smile every now and then. It’s good for you, I promise.
This is an odd age of technology where the first thing that probably comes to our minds when we think bold is the font type. I’m talking about something far beyond the literal sense though.
I used to be obsessed with having this bold font. Bold in the sense of popping out on the page, drawing attention. I thought of bold only as the person who could command the interest of a room with a single word, or the kid with what I now look back on as an annoyingly loud voice and overwrought opinions.
The word bold has done a complete one eighty in my mind, becoming more like italicized or some other strange special font that’s subtle and nuanced, not necessarily popping out on the page, but drawing a simple and real attention in its own right.
For those of you who don’t really understand this odd but aesthetically pleasing metaphor using a computer font, what I’m trying to say is that the popular opinion of bold always follows the trend of confident, courageous, outspoken, or having a strong or vivid appearance.
To be honest for a long time when I thought of the word bold I would think of the dad on one of Disney Pixar’s finest The Incredibles (Mr. Incredible I believe they so cleverly named him). He had a body way too big for his head, a sleek red body suit, awesome logo and fierce (but kind of creepy) look taking over his face.
Yep, that’s bold if I’ve ever seen it.
The general stereotype of bold is all about these fearless warriors and cartoon like superheroes. Not to say these heroes don’t make wonderful movie characters to idealize when we’re young, but when you get older you realize courage in real life doesn’t usually take form by saving a burning building or jumping out of a plane.
I think the deepest, heart wrenching courage that so many are still seeking to find comes from a different place entirely.
Bold is that same superhero who steps out of the phone booth to fly, but can see the very people he wanted to save are the ones standing on his cape. He realizes doesn’t have to wear the cape all alone or maybe he doesn’t even have to wear it at all.
We tend to think of the world in large, drastic measures, painting in large, drastic strokes, grouping in large drastic categories like happiness, sadness, death, loss, war, peace.
As you frequent readers may or may not have noticed, I’m more about the little, the understated, the idiosyncrasies and peccadilloes that piece together to create something interesting and whole. For me, bold is simply doing something out of your comfort zone. As an escort you’d probably imagine that I don’t give a second thought to dating. And I don’t, when it comes to short, impersonal, paid date. But for a real date — getting together for dinner and conversation with a man I’m crushing on, but don’t really know well at all? That’s another story. For me, being bold involved signing up for one of the new dating sites — a dog dating site (it’s not something kinky like you’re thinking — it’s a website that matches dog lovers together for a dating experience where each party knows that have at least one thing in common).
This post has definitely reached its maximum capacity in artsy and poetic imagery and allusions that may or may not make sense, so I’ll try to sum it up in a plainer manner.
Bold in our own lives I again believe is something truly sparked by the littlest of things. Bold is telling someone you admire them, paying an overdue compliment or thank you. Bold is saying something you’re fucking scared to say out loud or maybe sometimes bold is about doing something big and brash because we all need that once in a while.
It’s through these little bold actions that we conquer the bigger fears that plague our minds and truly encompass a bold font.